Self-hate.

"People fear what they don't know and hate what they fear."

*This post is for a very close friend of mine. I'm sorry for not accepting your sexual orientation.

Lesbians don't accept bisexuals.

Femmes don't understand studs.

Females don't like feminine gay guys.

No one accepts the transsexuals unless its as drag.
The list goes on...

I admit, I've had my own issues with accepting different people within our community but I've come to realize that no matter what label we chose to give our self or what gender we chose to love, we are all in this together and we're all that we have.

Our biggest problem within our own community should not be being able to accept ourselves. It may seem like no big deal to you but on a bigger scale, we only have so much power divided. How can we make that outside world believe in our equality or understand us better when we can't do the same for our own people.

We have enough people against us outside of our community we have to learn to stand together, if not for the fight then for support because we're all going through similar deals I can imagine.

I found this on twitter: Leave the judgment 2 the rest of the world #gaycommunity Cause u fail 2 realize if we #dontsupporteachother the world will never support us

A new venture.

Now that my daughter is in school and my days are short I decided to add a new venture to my daily schedule. Today marks the first day that I volunteer in the Gender & Sexuality Center, GSC for short.

I've been here a total of 90 minutes and already I love it! The atmosphere is so much better and nicer, familiar in this little room then the rest of the campus. To be in a room with people who have been through what I've been through and talk about things I'm interested in, who essentially are just like me is just a really great feeling.

Theres no judgement when you walk through the door, no rude comments, no shutting each other down, I'm completely safe... and I love it. This venture has definitely become one of my favorites and I've just started but I can only see it getting better!

My Coming-Out Story

In honor of Coming-Out Day I will be sharing my coming-out story.

I've been attracted to females for as long as I can remember (which probably goes back to middle school) but I didn't come out until my first year of college.

I had a mentor, she was bomb like you wouldn't believe! Beautiful, street smart, intelligent (those are two totally different things if you didn't know!) could dance her ass off, totally confident and I had the biggest crush on her!

Though feelings weren't mutual, she humored me. We talked all the time and with her being my mentor hanging out was totally mandatory. I came out to her first. She came over to hang me and my daughter and I told I had a new crush, a female.

She went nuts! Who? Wait, WHAT?!? It was hilarious but I didn't have the guts to tell her it was her I was crushing on so I lied and said it was some other woman. For those who don't know me, I cannot lie... at all. The tiniest lie will eat at my soul until I tell the truth so I did like a week later.

Some time after she came over again and I was brave, flirt turned on 100% and my mom caught it. She said and I quote, "If I didn't know any better I'd swear you like that girl as more than a friend." I turned to her and said, "Your right, I do." That was almost three years ago.

My mom went insane. More insane then when I told her I was pregnant. You'd have thought I'd hurt my siblings or something with her alternating between sobs and cries of "God, where did I go wrong???"

My mother still hates it and still raises hell every chance she gets. My father, along with more then half my family, disowned me. My mentor/best friend helped me as much as she could but it was a really rough time and I'm sad to say it hasn't gotten any better. The only thing thats changed is my pride in who I am.

It took me almost a year to to realize that at a point in my life where I was finally free I was letting what other people thought of me ruin my happiness. It was then I decided that I would live my life, the way I wanted and not worry about pleasing anyone else and here I stand today.

Shout Out to my bestie! I have no idea how I would have got through without you! Happy Coming Out Day!

Hey Guys!

I know its been almost a week since you guys have heard from me last and I'm so sorry but I've been super busy with life really but there are so many others ways to keep up with me and suggest topics for me to post on.

You can follow me on twitter @D_Pettiford.
My facebook is http://www.facebook.com/proud2bUNIQUE.
And all messages and comments come directly to my email.

I will definitely try to post as much as I can so you guys don't miss me so much!

Its Almost Here!

Coming Out Day is right around the corner! National Coming Out Day (NCOD) is an internationally observed civil awareness day for coming out and discussion about people that are gay, lesbian, bisexual,transgender (LGBT), etc. It is observed by members of the LGBT communities and their supporters (often referred to as "allies") on October 11 every year, or October 12 in the United Kingdom.

I will be posting my story on October 11th. Whats your story?

Future Plans

In honor of receiving news that I am now officially set for graduation I decided to share my future plans. Do you wanna know what I want to be when I grow up?

I want to be a journalist and/or media designer.... of an LGBT publication. Eventually owning my own. That came as no surprise right?

I am majoring in journalism and minoring in graphic design and I absolutely have my heart set on using my degree to better the LGBT community.

A lot of people that know my future plans think their silly, pointless even but upon graduation on April 28, 2012 I'll show them that I can make these plans happen.

A CHALLENGE!

I was talking to a friend the other day. We happened upon the topic of gay slurs and out of it came a challenge.

The challenge: Take the gay slur that you hate the most, define it, redefine it and turn it into a positive phrase. Instead of calling people out like I usually do I will instead be doing this for at least the next 2 days and I hope you'll do it with me.

My most hated gay slur is when something happens that people don't like or they don't agree with and they say, "That's so gay." Meaning it as an insult. Synonyms for the word gay could be stupid, or dumb, not worth it, among so many others.

Now to redefine. I want it to mean something positive, be the phrase people use for something they like.
So from here on out I will use the phrase to mean such. For example: Have you seen those new Sperry's? The plaids with the fake fur inside. Those kicks are so gay! I must cope em' for the upcoming season!

So I actually had that conversation earlier with my sis! Although funny at first it really does change the meaning of the phrase and helps to take away from the anger when you hear it used negatively and who knows, maybe it'll really help your friends to see exactly how important this is to you like its done for me.

If all else fails then you correct whoever said it negatively by stating NICELY that if you really don't like that homework assignment that you just referred to as gay then its probably because your not smart enough to understand it like my gay self can. Then smile and walk away. :)

Either way, you've completed the challenge in my book! lol